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me, Saturna Robbie

Monday, 5 November 2012

Of Marriage Manuals and Gas

nogarD fainted dead away from the heat. He went down like a ton of bricks all sweaty and hyperventilating from the heat and dust. He coughed and snorted, thrashed around and made all sorts of un-romantic and un-Groomlike noises. He had gas!!! I know it is a normal bodily function  but it is not good on your wedding day....I TOLD him not to eat Tacos!

Margaret put a halt on the proceedings even though Femme wanted to go ahead with an unconscious groom! She (Femme) said she was sure he would say I DO or I DID when he came to!

We tried to find water to throw on nogarD but we were not in good shape ourselves and there wasn't a drop of water to be found. Our tux's were beige not white ....our fur was coated with dust...the girls were whining softly...Lacey said she wanted to go home...it was not a good scene.

Priscinda and Wozart to the rescue.

They waved their wands, muttered a few abracadabra words and a bubbling water fountain appeared like magic!  Hallelujah! We thanked heaven or? for the gift of water it was a life saver.

We drank and drank... tried to wash the dust off and then we all threw water over poor nogarD ......... he shook himself...passed more gas and came to. Femme bent down near his face through the cloud around him. He opened his eyes and said 'MAMA'!

OMG!

We had all forgotten that nogarD was just a kid. Even by dog and/or dragon years he surely wasn't old enough to get married. He was BIG but not OLD.

We all looked at Margaret......She immediately checked her handy Dragon Marriage Manual..page 36. She quoted 'A water dragon lives forever but does not reach the age of majority until he is 102'!!

nogarD was only 56and a half..a mere baby!

Margaret announced the marriage ceremony was halted.

nogarD burped.

The Bride started spitting fire and threatening to sue..

Okay Gang....what now? Dusty, Hurley, Margaret, Tansy (Lacey too)  I want a normal life!  I want to write about normal things! Help get us out of this mess and never, ever, ever, let us get back into another one!!