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me, Saturna Robbie

Friday, 22 July 2011

Wal-Mart



We left Billy Joe Bob in the Motor home and headed for the entrance. 

The first thing we saw just inside the door was a sign ‘No Animals Allowed – Guide Dogs for the Sight Impaired Only’!  Well, we simply could not let Margaret go into the gun department by herself so we stuffed CC into her purse (he wasn’t happy about it) and decided that we should ALL FOUR pose as her guide dogs!

Margaret fastened our leashes onto our collars, donned her dark sun-glasses and tapped her way with her cane toward the IN doors. The Greeter stopped us and asked why she had FOUR guide dogs? Margaret told him that she could not afford a graduate guide dog and that she had been obliged to settle for drop outs. She siad we had scored so poorly in the trials that it took the four of us to make up for one intelligent and fully-trained animal.  The Greeter shook her hand and told her he admired her courage in coping with her disability AND the four of us (The absolute nerve of the man….Tansy went for his ankle and Hurley lifted his leg in protest) and let us through the doors.

Anyway, we ignored the slur on our characters and headed for the gun department.

We steered Margaret to the Gun counter where she asked to see a rifle just like the one used by Marshall Dillon in Gun Smoke. Tansy muttered ‘She thinks she’s Miss Kitty’. The clerk mentioned that it was highly irregular for a non-sighted person to be buying a gun.  Margaret explained that her other senses made up for her lack of sight and that she could hit an apple off Hurley’s head at fifty paces while dancing to the William Tell Overture to prove it! Hurley Paled significantly. Thankfully the Clerk had not heard of the William Tell Overture and would take her word for it…we couldn’t begin to imagine what Margaret would have done for the ‘Hi Ho Silver” part. To show her prowess however, she pumped the lever a few times and twirled the rifle like a drum majorette. The clerk grabbed her money and phoned store security. 

We wanted to put the rifle in the cart…but Margaret wanted to carry the rifle over her shoulder, she liked the way people moved aside as she passed by…Tansy wanted to be pushed in the cart to the cow-girl dog department to buy a new outfit and created a scene when I said NO. CC had had enough of being in a purse and he burst forth squawking in Spanish (I think he was using swear words) ..Hurley got confused and started spinning in circles. I got a headache!  Dusty said ‘Get them out of here….here comes Security’! So in my best Wagon-Master style I yelled ‘Wagons HO-O-O” and Dusty and I yanked and pulled them through the door.

Just when you think nothing else can go wrong….There we were in the Wal-Mart parking lot with a demonic rifle toting woman ….people were laying on the ground with their hands over their heads by this time …and no sign of Billy Joe Bob and the Motor home.

I never saw this sort of problem on the old Wagon Train Episodes...what am I doing wrong?

To be continued………